It is that time of year (in the northern hemisphere), when days grow a little shorter, evenings grow a little cooler, and families shift their focus from long, lazy summer days, to the structure and routine of the school year. It is a bittersweet time for many – the end of a special time when your children were just your children again, and they played for hours with water, sticks and leaves… It can be sad to bid farewell to afternoons by the swimming pool, hotdogs grilled outside, ice cold watermelon slurped in the heat of the day, skin warmed and toasted by days of carefree outdoor play…  Yet, for many it is a relief to know that more structure, more clarity, more mellow autumn days are coming their way.

For us, it has been a rollercoaster of firsts – first day of school for each of the boys, first week completed, first full week without interruptions, first time doing each extracurricular activity, first soccer practice, first playdate with a new friend, first day of tears and exhaustion after a long summer break, first time mama comes to help at school, first disagreement with a classmate, first project tackled, first rush out the door to two school drop offs, first time packing lunch again, first time bringing snack for the whole class, first lost water bottle, first bad day…

And it continues! I only realized as I was talking to a friend that I was holding  my breath and only breathing out a little at a time as each major first was successfully completed. One breath out after oldest son’s first day. One big breath out after youngest son’s first day. Breath out at the end of a full week of school for both boys. Breath out after our first helping day at youngest son’s preschool. Some breath is still caught in my chest as I try to find time to help in older son’s classroom, wait to see how soccer goes, wonder whether youngest son will still kick in his heels and refuse to go to school one morning soon… But at least I am breathing again, a bit. And sleeping again, a bit. And thinking about what I might like to do with my few free hours, a lot.

I have turned into a mom with routine charts and a calendar that shows every family member’s plans and commitments for the day. I have started laminating things, packing back packs at night, enlisting the boys to lay out their clothes at bedtime. We are still struggling to get out the door, to pack lunches, snacks, backpacks, water bottles. We are barely managing breakfast some days. We are trying to make sure we brush teeth and put on sunscreen. We are driving up and down, a lot.

But also, we are gaining independence, every one of us. We are all making new friends. We are discovering new possibilities, new interests, new routines. We still have no idea what we are doing, and how we are going to make it all work, but there is a sense that we will get there, that we will somehow figure it out, and that it will all be worth it in the end. So we keep getting up, getting dressed, scrambling through our morning routine, giving each other hugs and reassurances, and getting on with the day.

Visual schedules and routine charts have helped, especially in the mornings.

Getting clothes laid out the night before has been great.

Packing lunches, snacks and sweatshirts the night before is essential.

Lots of positive reinforcement, extra hugs, snuggles, and stories have made it a bit easier on all of us.

And the rest we just make up as we go along. And now we are 10 days in to the little one’s school year, and we are still standing. Standing taller, in fact. So we keep at it and hope that our muscles will get stronger, we will get fitter, and this will all get easier. Hopefully soon!